Dear Readers: In a
previous column, I published a letter from a reader who
wrote in about her recent retirement and how being able
to play more Bingo was one of her retirement goals. She
ran into some difficulty, however, when her retiree
husband began to complain that she was playing Bingo too
I suggested that part of his complaint might
stem from her going out and leaving him home to fend for
himself. I also suggested that if she helped her husband
find his own interests, he might stop complaining about
her Bingo playing.
The topic resulted in a litany of
letters from other readers, such as those that follow.
Dear Aunt Bingo,
I just read the letter in
your column from the recently retired woman whose
husband is giving her a hard time about going to Bingo.
I think your answer hit the nail on the head. This
sounds to me like a man who has yet to find his own
retirement activities and expects his wife to sit home
and make sure he is entertained. I would say that the
only part I disagree with is that it is this woman’s
responsibility to help her husband find his own
retirement things-to-do so that she can enjoy Bingo in
He is not a child. He didn’t do anything to
help her prepare for retirement. Why must the burden now
fall to her to coddle and baby him through a retirement
he did not prepare for?
My husband Terry and I are
also retired now for about six years. Long before
retirement we began talking about what we would do once
we did retire. Travel and spending time with our kids
and grandkids were at the top of the list. But there
were other things—like me wanting to join a cards club
or learning to kayak with some friends on the lake—which
I wanted to do alone. I also intended to play more
At first Terry had no ideas, and I said that
he better come up with some because I didn’t think we
needed to be together all the time. He agreed
(grudgingly) and after retiring got involved with a
local gardening co-op and with a croquet club at a golf
course up the road. He also got a part-time job doing
deliveries—which he loves.
It is too bad your reader
is in her situation. Now she really may have no choice
but to follow your advice and spend the beginning of her
retirement helping him figure out how to handle his.
What a drag. —LC, Maine, via email
Dear Aunt Bingo,
I am very happy
that you published the letter from the woman who
recently retired and is now being pestered by her
husband who has not adjusted to retirement yet.
husband and I found ourselves in a similar situation
when we retired. We’d worked with a consultant on our
financial planning for retirement, but it never occurred
to either of us that we should talk with a “social”
consultant as well.
Both of us found ourselves
“stuck” at first with too many hours in the day and not
enough activities to occupy our time constructively.
Eventually our friends introduced us to senior groups,
and we found other thing to do online and through the
newspaper. But it must have taken a good two years for
us to find our retirement rhythm simply because we
I strongly advise everyone who is
nearing retirement to do some planning about how they
will spend all that free time. Going out to dinner or
playing Bingo can only do so much. You really need to
have some bigger plans for the future.
—Marge M., Virginia, via email
Share your views! Write to Aunt Bingo c/o the Bingo Bugle, P.O. Box 527, Vashon, Washington 98070, or email her at STENGL456@aol.com. Be sure to include your name and address (you can request that your name not be published), as typically she will not include anonymous letters in her columns.