Did you ever notice that YOUR taste in music is awesome, yet everyone else’s stinks?
Cartoons are wasted on kids. They don’t understand the subtle humor. Spongebob had a “Zippy the Pinhead” reference in one of their episodes. What “kid” under 30 even gets that?
Censorship is &*#@ing wrong.
Never drink orange juice after brushing your teeth.
I went to a Madonna concert in the 80s. I only remember two things: I wore earplugs the entire time, and she sweated a lot. At least with the earplugs in, I could actually hear the music.
Why is History much more interesting AFTER you’ve finished high school and college?
“Sporks” work great on things you would eat with a fork… they’re not so effective on things you would eat with a spoon. The chicken noodle soup experiment was messy.
Cell phone contracts are a rip-off. I spend $80 a year on my cell phone. A YEAR. Of course, it helps if no one wants to talk to you.
I sometimes think I’m a little bit psychic. I also kinda knew I was gonna type that.
I think more meals should include garlic toast.
I can still “feel” the hat on my head long after I’ve taken it off.
I never seem to remember to buy kleenex. So whenever I’m sick, and someone stops by the house, I usually feel embarrassed lugging a roll of toilet paper with me.
If you ever have the opportunity to travel back in time, make sure you Google some winning lottery numbers first. If you ever get the chance to travel to the future, before you come back… well, you know the drill.
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