NOVEMBER 2022

Badgered at Bingo

Dear Aunt Bingo,

I have been going to Bingo many years and love to play. I live alone and go to be with my friends and make new friends. Now, sorry to say, I need to make a complaint, and hope you can give me an answer that will help.

I’ve never had to complain about anyone from Bingo, so this is hard for me. There is a woman that seems to criticize everybody and everything. I know everybody has a right to their opinions, but if they are hurtful, they should keep them to themselves. She talks all the time about this one lady. This other lady bothers nobody; she sits and plays her Bingo and minds her business. People like her and talk to her at her table during breaks. She knows and sees what is going on but chooses to ignore it the best she can. She has told me it’s very hard for her to play because of this problem. No matter where she sits, when she goes, this lady points her out; and at other Bingo halls too, it’s not just this one.

Should she confront her? She has already told the lady that runs this hall all about it, and the woman told her to ignore it. I know it is making her upset. I told her to confront her. Am I right, or is the lady that runs the hall right?

—Jim S., Ceres, California

 

Dear Jim,

You certainly have hit the nail on the head regarding this woman’s options: Either she can continue to put up with this woman’s harassment and do her best to ignore it, or she can confront her and put an end to it.

Your letter does leave us with several unanswered questions, however: Do these women know each other? Did the woman do something that has resulted in this other woman disliking her? Is the critical woman disturbed in some way, choosing a total stranger to dislike and harass for no reason? I can’t help but wonder if there is a deeper story to all this.

There is something you can do, too. Why not tell the lady that you would prefer not to listen to her criticisms and to keep her comments to herself. You could encourage others to do likewise. If enough players join in, she will soon find herself isolated and may finally stop with the personal attacks.

Another option would be to come to the defense of the woman being harassed and very loudly scold the woman for her behavior and tell her to stop. If others support you, perhaps adding a bit of applause to your statements, it may get her to stop.

But ultimately, this is neither your problem, the Bingo manager’s, or mine. The conflict is between these two women, and the victim may need to choose a course of action she feels is best. —Aunt Bingo

 

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Dear Aunt Bingo

Notebook and Pen