Snake Wrangler for Hire




Oh, the joys of home ownership! If you’re like me, you take most odd home noises with a grain of salt…at least the first time or two you hear them. A squeaky floorboard, something rolling off the roof (squirrels playing pecan-bowl on our roof), and odd attic noises on a windy day are just a few of the mystery noises homeowners might hear.

So, earlier this month, ol’ Elle here was sitting in the den, minding her own business, when suddenly a hissing sound occurs out of nowhere. My fearless Yorkie came bounding into the den, so I know it wasn’t just me who heard it. I walked around the area where I felt the noise emanated. Nothing. Maybe I’m nuts. Maybe the Yorkie is nuts. (Truth time: We both are.)

The hissing sound didn’t occur often. I kept hearing it a couple of times per day over the next few days. About the time I would forget about it, it would come back. “Tssssssss!” It started to get a little concerning, and a little scary.

One evening, while brushing my teeth, I almost jumped out of my PJs when I heard the hissing sound — very loudly—in the bathroom. “Tssssssss!” I heard it again the next morning. I zeroed in on the area where I keep the towels in the bathroom. I carefully opened the cabinet, hoping to NOT see snakes, and was relieved when all I saw were towels and toiletries. But now, I’m trying to think sensibly and strategically. IF there are snakes, they’re probably under the floor. I checked the lower cabinets, I banged on the lower cabinets, and stomped on the floor. Get out of here, you unwanted creepy things! I wasn’t sure if it worked or not, but I remained in that area for a little while and felt a teensy bit confident when I didn’t hear any noises.

Zoom ahead to later that evening. I felt the “call of nature” and entered my bathroom. While I was in there…you guessed it…a very LOUD “Tssssssss!” WELL, GREAT. JUST GREAT. Wait a minute…What’s that smell?

Oh. My. Goodness.

Around the time the “snakes” arrived, I had purchased a new automatic air freshener for the bathroom, set it up, and promptly forgot all about it. Every few hours it sprays a nice clean linen scent into the bathroom, with a very audible “Tssssssss!” sound. Since I turned it off, the snakes have not returned.

For more great content like this, look for the print edition of the Bingo Bugle in your area: Local Bingo Bugle Publications.

Elle & Company

© 2020 by Bingo Bugle and Frontier Publications, Inc.

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