Elle’s Overrated Popular Foods

 

MAY 2022

 

Everyone loves food, some of us more than others (guilty), and one thing I love about food is exploring new options or trends in food—or even looking into a more standard item I’ve never tried before. There have been some great hits for me (rutabagas), and some sad misses (cauliflower rice).

 

So, in no particular order, here is my partial list of Elle’s Overrated Popular Foods:

 

Cauliflower Rice: AKA Crunchy water. I’m very fond of cauliflower on its own, preferably steamed or roasted, but also raw on occasion. I don’t even need to smother cauliflower in cheese or any kind of sauce to enjoy it. Cauliflower on its own is delicious to this girl. However, cauliflower rice is an abomination. It’s supposed to replace rice in whatever rice-based dish you’re making, but it adds such a sad level of blah to the dishes I’ve attempted. Plain white rice has more flavor and a much better mouthfeel. In a beans and rice dish, it was so bad, I picked out the beans and ate them on their own. It leaves me wondering: At what point during the ricing process is all the flavor sucked out of the cauliflower?

 

Iced Matcha Green Tea Latte: I should have been suspicious of any food (or beverage in this case) that takes me much too long to pronounce. It is a rather trendy food. Apparently, I could have this instead of coffee for an energizing beverage. I ordered this with coconut milk. It was sweet enough, but the conflicting notes of chocolate, dust and potting soil just didn’t make my taste buds dance. I couldn’t wait to get home and make myself a cup of coffee. Hard pass.

 

Avocado: I’m not talking about delicious guacamole; I’m taking about plain avocado. Some restaurants serve a few slices with your entrée, and many sandwich shops add it to sandwiches, either sliced or mashed. Avocado works well with the additional of just about anything else, whether it’s a smattering of salt, pepper, herbs, spices or even salsa. On its own, it tastes like unsalted butter…or lard. I do not want a slab of unsalted butter on my sandwich, thank you very much.

 

Fried Eggs: This is definitely one of those “you either love it, or you hate it” scenarios. I once ordered a BLT sandwich from a very popular deli. I wasn’t aware they added a fried egg to their BLTs. I took one bite, and this oozy fatty mess came pouring out of the sandwich. It coated my tongue in a taste and sensation that still makes me shudder when remembering it. Now, a scrambled egg would have been welcomed on that same sandwich but keep the runny stuff out of there.

 

Red Velvet Cake: After I eat the cream cheese frosting, I’m done. Yuck.

 

Flavored Seltzer Water: Zero calories! Zero chance I’m buying that again. I drink club soda, I drink seltzer, I drink still water. I must be susceptible to advertising, because those flavored seltzer drinks look and sound so delicious, but every time I try one, I’m left with the impression that the company hires someone to eat a strawberry (or watermelon or pomegranate or whatever), and then belch into a can of plain seltzer water. One time, when I was getting ready to go out, I accidentally sprayed a bit of my cologne too close to my open glass of water. On the next sip, I could taste a tiny bit of my cologne. It wasn’t pleasant, and neither are any of those flavored seltzer waters I’ve tasted.

 

Kale: It must be very well hidden in whatever dish is presented to me, or I’ll just pick it out. Give me spinach, give me turnip greens, give me cabbage, but keep the kale. How in the world did kale get to be so popular? That’s probably a mystery best left unexplored.

 

So that’s my (partial) list. Once again, I’m not a picky eater. I’ve eaten liver, escargot, oysters, and numerous veggies with no complaints. I’m going to pass on anything with tentacles… and anything in the above list. Your mileage may vary.

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Elle & Company

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